Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize