uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
vagina is talking i cant
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
