i would punch a child for taco bell
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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