So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
