So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
