He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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