spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
zippers are such a cool invention
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Houston, we have a blender
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
