No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
