dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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