This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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