We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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