I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
