Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
