evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
