Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
