My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She said her name was "party"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize