I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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