Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Less talking, more tequila
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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