We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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