I am puke
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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