We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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