I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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