Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize