Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
