I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
