New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
