Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I deserve this hangover.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
