if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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