Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize