Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
