Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
