You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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