Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
