did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
