There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
