Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
