At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
