I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
