and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
