I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
