We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
