I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
