I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
