Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
