Im at strip club and am horny
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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