i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
