All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Mom said you looked used
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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