Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you will always have a special place in my vag
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
