If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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