I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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