He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
