so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
