I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
