is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
