Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
