I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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