Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
