Its about making memories worth repressing
My cat gives me a boner
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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