I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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