I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
