yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize