Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
