Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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