he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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