dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
